Today is the day those doughnuts at CERN (The European Organisation for Nuclear Research) switch on the much-anticipated Large Hadron Collider in the hopes of artifically creating their very own contained black hole.
Yes, that's right, they want to make a black hole appear. In a tunnel somewhere underneath Geneva lies a device so mind-boggingly amazing it can actually simulate outer space and create an energy-sapping phenomenon - albeit on a slightly smaller scale than those naturally occurring in the cosmos.
Now, I'm no astrophysicist but I have read a bit about this. They're calling it a "micro black hole" or "strangelet". I don't care how small they say it is, a tank full of baby tigers and sharks is still a tank I wouldn't be in a hurry to replicate. And yes this is about the strangest thing anyone could ever want to create.
The logic behind this whole experiment is fatally flawed anyway. I thought scientists were meant to have more than one brain cell between them, but listen to this. After plans to build the particle accelerator were announced, apparently CERN issued a statement with the purpose of assuaging the general public's fears of a catastrophic worldwide disaster culminating in premature armageddon.
A spokesperson said that there was "powerful empirical evidence against the possibility of dangerous strangelet production."
But let's build a 27km wide tunnel and try it anyway, eh lads? Just in case we're wrong.
I hope you all know where your towels are. I'm waiting for a Vogon constructor fleet to pass through our galaxy so I can hitch a lift out of here.
1 comment:
Fortune favours the brave.
You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.
A woman's work is never done.
etc.
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